You Are Enough

I was talking to my brother one night about how I had responded to a certain situation I was in. I told him how I wished I could just go back and re-do what I had done. I told him that had I known what I know now, I would have responded so much better and things might have turned out differently than they did.

And you know what he said to me. He said, “No. You could not have responded any better to that situation than you did at that time. You responded the best way you knew how that day and you don’t need to feel guilty about that.”

I was so shocked by that statement. And it has stuck with me even years later.

I learned an important lesson from my brother that day.

I am enough.

There is no point in beating yourself up over past mistakes because you did the best you could in that moment. Even if the best you can do isn’t very good at all.

The only thing you can do is to learn from each experience you have and become better from it. That way, you can respond better in the future, because you will better.

Now this realization doesn’t give you leave to hurt people again and again while pretending you are going to do better in the future. If what you did hurt someone else, then ask their forgiveness and make plans to never do it again. Then move forward, knowing you can do better in the future. 

Guilt and regret serve the purpose of helping you realize you were wrong and give you motivation to change. But if you hold on to guilt and regret long after you have changed, then they are doing you no good.

In fact, they are causing damage. What amazing things could you accomplish in the time you spend agonizing over a past mistake? When you hold on to negative feelings longer than their use requires, you are limiting yourself in so many ways.

If you find you have a hard time forgiving yourself, try this exercise:

Write down each situation that is weighing on you right now, whether it happened today or ten years ago.

Now answer this question:

Did I resolve this issue already?

If not, ask yourself this:

Can I resolve this issue still?

If the answer is yes, then take care of it, no matter how uncomfortable it may be.

If the answer is no, then do this:

Write down what you learned from your experience and how you plan on doing better in the future.

Once that is done there is no reason to agonize over the situation any longer. When you find yourself worrying again, go back and look at what you wrote. It will help you regain confidence in yourself and give you hope.

The main message I took from my conversation with my brother was that I am enough.

Who I am now is enough. Everything that I know now is enough.

When I make mistakes, I can fix them and learn from them. Because I am enough.

I no longer have to stress over my weaknesses. I can just change them. Because I am enough.

And that’s a lot of pressure lifted from your shoulders. The responsibility to grow and progress and forgive and apologize is still there. But the pressure of having to be perfect is gone when you know that you are enough.

When you know you are enough, then you can make the positive changes you need to actually become better after you make mistakes. And that is enough.

So today, write this down 3 times before you go to bed:

I am enough.

Then as you lay in bed, repeat that same phrase over and over until you fall asleep. It will be like counting sheep, but with a more positive impact:-)

Love you all:-)